BigNailCow's Blog omfg
I am a collector yes I am and I have this net yes I am
Downtown Dallas is just like Grand Theft Auto 3. Damn. We were driving along with the window slightly down, and we heard two people yelling things at each other in annoying voices. There was also a huge building complex under construction, and it had that wooden frame thing set up. Crazy.
Oh well. In lieu of actual content, I give you this blog.
I'm a blood donor! And I advanced in AMC! And I'm going to a computer contest!
See, I have things to do, too.
Some.
Dear Diary,
I have no importance in this plotline whatsoever.
...
P.S. -- WHEN WILL RICKEY COME BACK TO ME?!?!
- Troy
So much DoD.
Also I am starch.
etc etc. whateva.
I'm tired of acting pretentious. But it's so necessary! I like procrastination.
I was just in a sour mood earlier. Today's not so bad.
Some good came of it.
Man, today SUCKED. So many tiny irritants all merging together to form one giant annoying thingy. I was almost ready to explode at the end of the day.
- The realization that I have to do that writing prompt
- That it was 85 degrees in the Animal Science room
- That I have to BE in the Animal Science room
- Rehman doing all sorts of shit with water on my papers and desk and face
- Bombing yet another AP US History quiz
- Sitting in AP US History "working" on History Fair
- Having to do the entire History Fair project myself
- Mike letting gas out in the Physics room, attributing to the last reason down there
- Spilling Dr. Pepper all over my desk
- Ripping a small hole in my shirt again
- Receiving word of the TEMPO application deadline, apparently
- Remembering about that car project thing
- My reed would barely play today
- Hearing that I smell like smoke from every person that exists (IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT, JESUS)
- My rechargable cadmium batteries went dead
- The sound is muffled on my headphones, which I haven't used in months
- MY CAT WILL NOT STOP INCESSANTLY MEOWING
- I'm the exact same weight as I was 4 days ago
- There's dust all over the place
- I didn't do any of the homework I wanted to do
- I almost woke up late for school
- My fan won't stand upright anymore
- My chair broke some more
- My ID broke some more
- We got cut off two times on the way home, and
- We almost ran into some idiot who stopped right in front of us
- No one wants to play DoD, my one chance at relief.
- And last, but not least, an ever-so-distant slight headache and ringing in my ears that just wouldn't go away.
Now would be the perfect time to write a blues song.
Why can't we just take a day off from *everything* once in a while? That would be such an immense gift.
And of course I include myself.
Today, after the AMC, we had to write an AP-style essay on some prompt for English. Mrs. Naugher told us it wasn't due in class today, so I wrote a journal instead...
It was about being open, and finding people you can relate to, something that's been on my mind a lot lately. I'd rather have a few very good friends than a bunch of mere acquaintances. It makes the friendship more special, more meaningful.
I guess you could say this is part of my New Transformation, but... these thoughts started weeks ago.
For this new commitment of mine, I've been weighing myself every so often. And I've noticed that it's varied 4 pounds over the course of two days.
This makes me believe it shouldn't be too hard to lose weight if I really try. The body's a strange vixen.
Intellectual banter has always interested me. Whatever the reason, it's what I seem to enjoy most. Talking about things that don't actually exist, or things that exist on such a deep level that there's almost no way I could have any knowledge of the subject. But I continue to talk, because it gives me something to do. Something to do that's not improving myself in some other way that's actually lacking.
My intelligence is really the only thing I have going for me. I'm as lazy as a sloth, unorganized, undependable, unconcerned with others, cold, and, of course, hideous. It's a wonder that there are still people who manage to talk to me.
I've changed a lot in the last 8 or so years. I used to be carefree and *gasp* not fat and ugly. I think it was when I realized that I was smart enough to not do any work and still get by that I changed. School became a chore, rather than the intellectual stimulus it should have been. At the core of it all, I just don't believe with some people's teaching methods. But, of course, I still have to go to school every day, and this prospect seemed so bleak to me. Why should I go somewhere where I wouldn't have a purpose, where there was nothing for me?
Luckily, there were other people who felt the same way, but not to the degree I did. Had everyone been happy and cheerful all the time, I don't think I would have made it. (Only figuratively, of course. My outlook on life would never allow something stupid and pointless like suicide, drugs, alcohol, etc. In my opinion, they don't help at all. And they're illegal. Illegality is anti-intuitive to my continued happy existence, as well.)
But those may have just been things I was told. Drugs are bad. Alcohol is bad. But I never made the connection that junk food was bad. So, I filled the void created by schoolwork with food.
What does all this mean? It means that I've finally realized how debilitating all my faults are. And it's time I changed them.
But is it really worth it? Making a change will be incredibly difficult, and take an incredible amount of determination, something I've never given so easily. Of course, the rewards may just be in my head. Maybe nothing will change. Maybe life will be the same.
The answer is, yes. It is worth it. That chance to be a better person in general is alluring. I don't know how successful my efforts will be, but I have to try. If I don't, then I'll never be happy with myself. And chances are, no one else will be. We all need someone special in our lives... and if I don't start making changes now, I may never find that person.
But I need the help of all my friends out there. I need you to suggest things about myself that I can change. And, as I've said to someone before, be as superficial as is necessary. Anything you find wrong with me, tell me. I'll try to change it. There's a lot to do, so I should get started soon.
My ideas are: lose weight, do homework, maintain a respectable haircut, organize a bit
Notice the lack of mention of my being cold and unsocial on the list. I like those aspects.
I have a rather big blog coming soon. Look forward to it.
And the small things in life are the best things... like an awesome bassline in a song you've heard so many times before...