BigNailCow's Blog omfg
You just fell for the trap.
>>: # Tuesday, March 14, 2006 _
I have all the free time in the world and nothing to do with it. I have all of the allotted, used, necessary time in the world and want nothing to do with it. I feel like the fucking Omega Man.
The only way I meet people is through quiet observation of them. It fails half the time. I don't have the patience for that shit anymore. Anytime anyone says anything I just want to turn around and yell "no one gives a shit." I feel like the world is focused on me to do something significant and if I make the slightest mistake everyone will stop what they're doing and chastise me for it. And so I don't do anything, because I want to be different, because I don't want to be different. And everyone else in the world shares the same sentiment.
It's frustrating.
When I get kicked out of school, I'll shrug it off. When my parents die, I'll lament "oh, that's too bad." When I lose my best friends, I'll chalk it up to what was meant to be. I'm continually betrayed by irony, fate, and myself.
The second worst part is, I planned this entire entry on my way back from Art History class, including this.
The worst part is, I forgot most of it as I sat down to my computer.
Something is very seriously wrong with me.
Comments:
It's not really depression. My mindset changes every day. They're usually hair trigger responses to how I'm feeling that day. But they do tend to usually fall toward that theme. I'm more inclined to believe it's an inevitability.
If I had to call it anything it would be bipolar disorder.
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If I had to call it anything it would be bipolar disorder.
