Computer science is too utilititarian, too plebeian, too prole. I want something more. God damn it.

I'm considering no longer acknowledging the title "computer science genius" (THOUGH IT IS STILL APPLICABLE OF COURSE).

I want to write lofty and pretentious things. Damn it. At the same time I'm avoidant toward expressing my thoughts and trying, because people WILL label me as pretentious, overbearing (already happened), and, the worst, unoriginal. That's the real kicker. It's a real tough duality.

More on this later.

WHOO

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On another note...

If:
* you consider yourself intelligent, introspective, and conflicted, and
* you are looking for new media to consume, or think anime is worthless, and
* you believe being unique causes pain as it renders you inable to relate to others on any level other than a primarily superficial one, and
* you wonder whether or not freedom of choice and self is surrenderable in order to alleviate pain and simplify living,

then let me know. I have something for you. (You probably know what it is.)

Let the sarcastic comments commence.

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Also, I've had the wrong definition of "bourgeois" in my mind for a while now (not completely wrong, just a little off-base). Looks like the things I previously labeled as "bourgeois" are just INANE. Whoops.

I'm way too interested in my own thoughts to be pretentious, and way too self-deprecating to be narcissistic. Shut up. Everyone. Oh god the voices.

It should be noted that I barely ever appeal to what other people think when I write in this thing. I don't care what you think. God damn.

I've never felt clearer mentally. And that means I've never felt more self-destructive.

I'm basically Jean-Paul Sartre reincarnated.

This rocks.

2 comments -- Posted at 5:57:00 AM